Pretty Little Girl.

I have a theme going. Sometimes I pick a song that pairs with what I want to write. Other times, the song comes to me and is my inspiration. Today's post is the latter. While preparing for the blink-182 concert (ONE DAY) the song Pretty Little Girl came on. Some of the lyrics really resonated with me and something that I've been thinking about.

Can we learn to get by if we learn to have scars

If we learn to forgive and accept who we are

I watched a documentary last night, Tony Robbins' I Am Not Your Guru, that tied in with these lyrics. Something that hit me was that people in my life have hurt me and I've blamed them for that pain and suffering, but I hadn't "blamed" them for making me the person that I am today. Had my parents been wonderful, had they not been drug addicts, how would I have had the drive and determination to not be like them? How would I have known what not to do? 

I blamed my abandonment issues on them, too. Which is fair and normal, when you're young. But I'm an adult now. I am 25 years old and I am a functioning, healthy adult. I blamed them for being in an abusive relationship. For thinking that I didn't deserved to be loved. But even that relationship has molded me into the strong woman I am. 

I'm not weak. I have gone through hell and back, faced so many obstacles, and I'm still standing. I'm not just existing either, I'm living my life, happily. I am a strong, independent woman that is full of love and am capable of being loved. That deserves love. I was not handed anything in my life. Not to say others do not have it worse, just to say that my life has not been easy. But I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I have a support system of friends and family, I have an incredible job that I am so proud of, I have a 4.0 GPA going into my third semester of graduate school. I am me. And I have forgiven those that have hurt me and put me through hell, because without them I would not have learned how to overcome obstacles. 

If I'm going to blame them for the pain and suffering, I have to blame them helping me become who I am, and I am thankful for that. I have learned that the best people in life have been through hell. They're the best people because they know what it's like to be treated badly, to experience pain and they learned how to keep going. I admire their strength. I admire my own strength. 

Wait a minute hold up a second

Don't leave me here with this feeling

Like I'm the one full of regret

Like I never did good for us both